Stuff I Lost In the Move

(Originally written October 21, 2009)

An old dresser. An even older dresser, that had belonged to my grandparents at one time. All my journals. Some jewellery findings. Clothes, shoes, photographs, my mind.

I'm think of treating this whole horrific episode like a fire. I think it would be easier to accept that I lost everything in a fire than I lost it all because couldn't cope and I couldn't get any help out of my only son.

My old landlord stopped by one day in late October with a couple of things. He was down the stairs and in his truck before I even answered the door. I looked through the window and saw my hanging files, taxes, bank stuff, etc. and a small plastic box with my old jewellery boxes in it and other assorted junk. It is sweet that he thought they would be important and interesting what he thought would be important.

There is nothing of value in the jewellery boxes. There never was. But there was also an old watch case that contained a couple of Holy Cards and two rosaries. One was the rosary I received when I made my First Communion. I don't remember where the other one came from, but it is probably older than I am.

There were a few photographs, taken at Pat O'Brien's in New Orleans. I believe they would have found them in the dresser behind my desk.

There was the bottle of water from Lourdes. There was a brass cat and my travel iron, of all things. That's about it.

I feel like that is all I have of my life before this move. Oh some boxes were moved earlier on, but not many. Not many at all considering the amount of stuff I had. There were some things that were half-packed that didn't get moved. Those things were rather important to me. There were other things that didn't even get close to getting packed that never made it. Things that I cannot specify because doing so would just be too painful right now.

I've often thought that I made a terrible mistake moving here. I think my reasons were sound, but I'm not strong enough to put up with the constant disappointment that my son is proving to be.